Will Rogers Quotes

Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law, and every time they make a law it's a joke.
Politics has got so expensive that it takes lots of money to even get beat with.
We are all here for a spell get all the good laughs you can.
I traveled a good deal all over the world, and I got along pretty good in all these foreign countries, for I have a theory that it's their country and they got a right to run it like they want to.
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.
I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
There is good news from Washington today. Congress is deadlocked and can't act.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to Somebody Else.
The fellow that can only see a week ahead is always the popular fellow, for he is looking with the crowd. But the one that can see years ahead, he has a telescope but he can't make anybody believe that he has it.
The best doctor in the world is the veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter-he's got to just know.
Don't let yesterday take up too much of today.
You know everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out
Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
We have the best Congress money can buy.
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat
Every man is ignorant - just on different subjects.
So live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.
Never let yesterday use up too much of today.
We can't all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.
The man with the best job in the country is the Vice President. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, 'How's the President'
It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.
I can remember way back when a liberal was one who was generous with his money.
Live your life so that whenever you lose, you are ahead.
If any of us had a child that we thought was as bad as we know we are, we would have cause to start to worry.
The greatest loss of time is delay and expectation. I never yet talked to the man who wanted to save time who could tell me what he was going to do with the time he saved.
I was not a child prodigy, because a child prodigy is a child who knows as much when it is a child as it does when it grows up.
Don't gamble take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it.
Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate now what's going to happen to us with both a Senate and a House
I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat.
Nothing you can't spell will ever work.
I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.
An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out.
This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.
The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.
The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.
Politics is applesauce.
Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators.
On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.
Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week.
There ought to be one day-- just one-- when there is open season on senators.
Rumor travels faster, but it don't stay put as long as truth.
The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other. The one that's out always looks the best.
We don't know what we want, but we are ready to bite somebody to get it.
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
There is only one thing that can kill the Movies, and that is education.
The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.
See what will happen if you don't stop biting your fingernails
Well, all I know is what I read in the papers.
Communism is like prohibition, it's a good idea but it won't work.
I bet you if I had met him Trotsky and had a chat with him, I would have found him a very interesting and human fellow, for I never yet met a man that I didn't like.
You can't say that civilization don't advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way.
Heroing is one of the shortest-lived professions there is.
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